How to Be a New York Times Reporter

Ann Coulter

August 10, 2023

Source: Bigstock You most likely believe the task of a reporter is to report news. How old-fashioned, cis-gendered, white supremacist of you! That’s not it at all, definitely not at the august New York Times.

Instead, a reporter’s mission is to discover what sort of story would assist the Democrats at any specific moment in time, and then write it, no matter how unbelievable. Clearly, skills in sophistry and legerdemain are important.

Today, nothing would help the Democratic Party more than in some way blocking Gov. Ron DeSantis of Florida from becoming the Republican presidential candidate.

“Today, absolutely nothing would assist the Democratic Celebration more than somehow obstructing Gov. Ron DeSantis of Florida from ending up being the Republican governmental candidate.”

That’s a tall order. DeSantis is not just working on 70-30 popular issues, however he’s following through by really enacting those policies– on whatever from immigration to criminal offense, to trans-mania, to anti-white bigotry. A lot of marvelously, he made utter fools of the entire liberal brain trust over COVID.

This can not stand. There’s a whole world of Times readers waiting on Pravda to arrive on their doorstep every morning to confirm their bias.

So what’s a liberal lackey to do?

I can now expose the six takedown strategies taught to Times reporters on Day One– prior to they’re even taught that misgendering someone is a fireable offense– as illustrated by reporters Sharon LaFraniere, Patricia Mazzei and Albert Sun, in a million-word, front-page short article on July 23.

1) The Kamikaze Run

Strike an individual on his greatest point– he’ll never ever anticipate it. If the target’s faithful, call him disloyal; if he’s consistent, call him inconsistent; if he’s truthful, call him a phony; if he’s good-looking, call him ugly.

And if he performed brilliantly throughout a global pandemic when nearly all other federal government authorities messed up, write a short article stating: HELLO, GOV! YOUR COVID ACTION SUCKED.

2) The Surprise Heading

Utilize a scary headline belied by the actual truths presented in your post.

Real NYT heading: “The Steep Cost of Ron DeSantis’s Vaccine Turnabout … a grim chapter he now neglects of his rosy retelling of his pandemic action.”

3) Hide the Ball

Deep within the story, bury the main fact that blows apart your narrative. Probably, the reader will never ever get that far.

NYT, paragraph 6,000: “Overall, [Florida’s] death rate during the pandemic, adjusted for age, ended up better than the national average.”

4) The Ant’s Eye View

Discover a short, aberrational minute during the appropriate period that supports your fake facility.

NYT: “Floridians died at a higher rate, changed for age, than citizens of practically any other state during the Delta wave … With less than 7% of the country’s population, Florida represented 14% of deaths in between the start of July [2021] and the end of October.”

That’s 4 months out of a three-year-long pandemic. Throughout that valuable period, Florida’s death rate was, in reality, higher than the national average– instead of throughout the entire pandemic, when Florida’s death rate was lower than the nationwide average.

5) “Huh. We Forgot That.”

Do not point out other, more likely, descriptions for the aberration.

Like all airborne viruses, COVID struck southern states hardest in the summer (when individuals are crowded inside for the cooling) and northern states hardest in the winter season (when people are crowded inside for the heat).

If you didn’t already know that, it was being reported all over at the time. Here, for instance, is NPR in the fall of 2021: “We’re certainly seeing [COVID conditions enhance] throughout Florida, South Carolina, southern Texas in specific. … [But as] the surge relieves in the South, it might increase in the North, like last year.”

Simply recently, the Times priced estimate a Johns Hopkins epidemiologist who kept in mind that: “This is the 4th summer season now that we see a [COVID] wave beginning around July, frequently starting in the South.”

Won’t well-informed readers know this? Absolutely not. For Times readers, the world started this morning and ended this morning.

5) The Imaginary Causation

Neglect painfully apparent facts that ruin your fake theory of causation.

Your thesis: COVID deaths soared in Florida throughout the Delta wave because Gov. Death-Santis did not encourage young people to get immunized.

In truth, it was the Delta version that couldn’t be come by vaccination, finally forcing the CDC to admit that vaccination would not avoid either infection or transmission.

As CNN reported in July 2021: “CDC Director Dr. Rochelle Walensky said new information had persuaded her the Delta variation was ‘acting uniquely’ … [and] the proof showed that fully immunized people who have advancement infections including Delta may be as likely to send virus to others as unvaccinated individuals are.”

6) The “What Isn’t Like the Other” Statistic

Lard your post with data made useless by integrating like and unalike things.

— “Of the 23,000 Floridians who passed away [during the Delta wave], 9,000 were younger than 65.”

OK, but the number of were younger than 60? Is there no distinction in between a 23-year-old and a 63-year-old? Also, how many were overweight? How many had co-morbidities?

— “In spite of the governor’s insistence at the time that ‘our whole vulnerable population has actually basically been vaccinated,’ a vast bulk of the 23,000 were either unvaccinated or had not yet completed the two-dose program.”

“Unvaccinated” is totally various from “got one shot,” i.e., “generally vaccinated.” For all we know, everybody who died from Delta in Florida had actually had at least one shot, contradicting the whole point of that fact.

To utilize a professional journalist’s technique: This Is the Steep Cost of the Times‘ Descent Into Mindless Left-Wing Advocacy … a grim chapter the paper excludes of its history.

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