August 14, 2023
Source: Bigstock During this summer’s Barbie movie-mania, numerous female fans turning up to cinemas dressed from head to toe in extravagant pink and sparkles have actually boasted to be “channeling their inner Barbie”– yet there is one woman out there who invested her life doing actually just that.
In 1992, psychic previous air stewardess Barbara Bell began directing paranormal messages from the cumulative Jungian hive mind of the 700 million Barbie dolls then in circulation, or “the polyethylene essence who is 700 million teaching essences,” as she put it. Bell had actually been a lonely kid whose only friends were her plastic dolls. Now she made cash by continuing her fictional infant conversations with them, charging $3 for clients to ask Barbie a concern, whereupon the doll’s fleshly “inner name-twin” would pen a reply on pink notepaper, no doubt in ultra-girly bubble composing with love hearts dotting each and every last “i.”
Gays and Dolls
According to Bell, this psychic outlet showed a fantastic relief to Barbie, who was– uh-oh– caught in the prison of her own body by the patriarchy: “I suggest, her mouth doesn’t even open. Her eyes don’t open and shut. The poor female is caught in a sterilized body, and [yet] she has actually deep feelings and sensations.” (Sensations like “GI Joe is an extremely nice male,” however she didn’t wish to shag him.)
“If a prisoner self-identified as innocent, would they let him go complimentary?”
The most reported-upon client of Bell’s back in the ’90s was an early male-to-female transsexual who would like to know “why her [sic] estrogen pills were pink.” Barbie’s answer? Due to the fact that “that’s the color of the Divine Womanly.” Whoever knew Barbie had read her Goethe!.?.!? The ramification of Barb’s response, obviously, was that even if you were a biological male with a body like Atlas and a beard like Gandalf, all you had to do was pop on a pink dress or panties, and then you too might magically become a walking, talking, living-doll embodiment of this very same Divine Womanly too.
Barbie’s manufacturer Mattel disagreed, sending out Bell a cease-and-desist letter arguing her psychic activities “might negatively affect the wholesome, favorable, family-oriented image of Barbie.” So entirely have business mores altered in the 3 years given that, woke Mattel might now be more likely to gratefully pay lunatics to undermine such a now-unwanted, old-fashioned thing.
Obscene Limerick
Another question once asked of Bell’s psychic Barbie was “Is there a bad Barbie?” There definitely is. His name is Barbie Kardashian, and he was up until just recently housed within the ladies’s wing of Ireland’s Limerick Jail. Banged up in March for threatening to stab, rape, abuse, and then eliminate his own mother, under the terms of Ireland’s unreasonable Gender Acknowledgment Act 2015, Bad Barbie was allowed to self-ID as woman without any prior medical diagnosis.
However, Odd Barbie is in receipt of a medical diagnosis of egotistical personality condition, which, as this specific mental condition is really frequently just a synonym for “being trans” in the first place, will certainly do just as well. Barbie when attacked his woman social worker so extremely he tore her actual eyelids with his long, sharp, doll talons; ordinarily I would favor acts of extreme violence being perpetrated versus social workers, however in this particular circumstances I’ll make a horrified exception.
You might be astounded to discover that “Barbie Kardashian” is not this individual’s genuine birth name, having actually been born plain old Gabriel Alejandro Gentile. As if to show his maleness, once successfully in Limerick’s women’s wing, Barbie threw a wobbler after being asked to perform some housework, threatening to rape his female guards with his male penis after they informed him to tidy up following a shower. Burlier male screws then accompanied him back to his cell, as they were the only ones strong enough to manage him– due to the fact that he is a male, albeit one using clownish, trowel-applied red lipstick eerily like that of Harley Quinn from the Suicide Team franchise (likewise played by Margot Robbie, the extremely exact same starlet now carrying Barbie at a cinema near you).
The Emerald Island’s existing Overall Taoiseach is Leo Varadkar, who self-IDs as being an Irishman. A popular homosexualist, Leo absolutely understands what a guy is, as he is currently bumming one on a regular basis. When challenged with the absurdity of Barbie’s case and asked whether he believed biological males should be locked up with biological females by a skeptical reporter, Leo responded, “No I do not, rather honestly.” Why did you and your kind aid engineer a situation in which just such a profanity could clearly happen, then, you blind sanctimonious prick?
In Brendan Behan’s prophetically titled play The Quare Fellow (“queer” in “Auld Oirish”), in the onstage tune “The Auld Triangle,” a lonesome male detainee longingly laments that:
In the female jail,
There are seventy-five ladies,
And I wish it was with them
That I did dwell.
Thanks to quare fellows like Mr. Varadkar, he extremely quickly now could.
Infant Sham
Barbie is not the only kind of toy doll focused on little ladies. You can likewise get those ugly ultrarealistic ones formed like little awful goblin infants that weep and piss themselves on command like the girls of OnlyFans.
One such teary-eyed psychological incontinent is now under the careful motherly care of the Scottish Prison Service, where a 38-year-old transgender “infant” calling himself Sophie Eastwood is currently being mollycoddled in what total up to a giant taxpayer-funded crèche. Sophie is truly an adult male humanoid called Daniel, initially put behind bars for harmful driving at age 18, prior to updating to a far more developed life sentence after strangling his cellmate with shoelaces in 2004– final proof he can’t really be a baby, as small children are notoriously unable to knot such things.
According to reports, given that selfishly deciding to regress back to a state of continuous infanthood and suck happily off the teat of the state, Baby-Doll Sophie has actually been given a dummy by compliant jail staff and is now also requesting infant food and a nappy, and to have guards hold his hand when leaving his cell/crib. This was due to the fact that “The Scottish Prison Service has no procedure in location for handling prisoners who decide they are babies,” and hence cowardly authorities felt they had no option but to comply due to “human rights reasons.” If a prisoner self-identified as innocent, would they let him go free?
Sophie may not like that, as he has freely admitted he only strangled his cellmate in the hope that this “would get me sectioned [as a madman under Scotland’s Mental Health Act] and I ‘d invest the rest of my life in medical facility being cared for” gratis. However, he now craves release, wailing that he has actually only been denied it due to “transphobia” and “sexism” (versus which specific one of his alleged sexes, I am unable to identify). Now in an all-women’s jail, Sophie is worried he “would not make it through” if ever moved to a male one, as he would be actually a child among males, or at least an adult murderer falsely impersonated one.
Amongst prison personnel, Infant Face Finlayson is understood not as “Diddums,” but as “Hannibal Lecter Jr.” This is not on account of any propensity towards cannibalism or Chianti, however due to what the media dubbed his “wicked mind video games.” Simply put, they understand completely well “Sophie” is taking the piss, but the leftist-created law is on his side now, despite the fact that his claims are actually physically impossible. “I have no history of gender violence [against females],” Sophie even more opposed. No, you’ve just ever eliminated another man, which is undoubtedly definitely great.
An Absolute Shitshow
Sophie Eastwood is not the only adult to have successfully lived as a baby under the guidance of far-left Scottish dickheads. R.D. Laing was a swinging-’60s “anti-psychiatrist” who gained money and kudos from an indulgent governing class by bounding around making pathetically juvenile declarations to the basic impact that “It’s, like, not individuals who seethe, however, like, the evil capitalist society within which they are forced to live that is the true insanity here!”
Maniacal Laing motivated a schizophrenic called Mary Barnes to inhabit the basement of his personal London “medical facility,” regressing her back down to a state of babyhood prior to supposedly then enabling her to grow up revoke it into a state of blameless adult sanity. From 1965 to 1970, she was bottle-fed and bathed by adults and motivated to soil herself every day– as soon as whilst celebrity visitor Sean Connery observed from a safe distance. Quite how shitting yourself in front of James Bond was expected to make Mary sane, Laing never described.
Ending up being obsessed with her own poo, Barnes combed plop-plop through her hair and smeared all of it over herself like Rachel Dolezal before another NAACP meeting, keeping a diary loaded with disturbed entries like “I dreamt of remaining in a big sink with all my shits. It was being cleaned off me” by her Ken-like boyfriend. Like Russian dung dolls, Child Barnes concerned believe her turds were her own bum-laid “infants” in their turn, molding them into faces and figures within foul-smelling little shrines.
At other times Scary Mary smeared excreta all over her own tits, then rubbed them on the walls, rendering them “so smelly individuals gasped upon getting in the space.” However some were gasps of wonder: Her tit-shit paintings and turd sculptures were taken by gullible visitors for art work, helping with an actual future profession for her! Although those she later managed to sell were executed in normal paint, it would have been a brave male who bought any landscapes of hers illustrating mudflats or peat bogs.
The seeds of our current self-indulgent, self-ID-as-whatever-you-feel-like-this-morning mania were in fact sown long ago. It would not surprise me if some of the Pink Ladies (and guys) going to Barbie screenings dressed as Barbs go back home and choose they fancy living the rest of their adult lives that way from now on, too, like the lady in the popular “Barbie Woman” music vid. In fact, some currently have.
Aqua were best: We truly are now residing in a Barbie World. Life might well be plastic, as the ’90s Danish Scandi-pop giants correctly anticipate, but it certainly isn’t great.